What a horrible concept of not having control. Of anything. On my spiritual journey, this has been something I've had to work on, hard. I have many traumas and it's not only been a trauma response, it's also been a learned way of dealing with life. Coming to realize over and over again, that this concept or practice has nothing to do with life. Life, just is…..

As I was deciding to write this blog, I wanted it to reflect my Pilates blog.  I wanted, should be emphasized. On my journey, I've had to learn to stop, listen and follow my intuition. I'm getting better with this feeling. As I said, "I wanted" to write this blog, and I stopped and asked, "Is this what you want me to write about?", instead. So I wrote my first line and closed my computer. Ok God, my Spirit Guides, my angles, my loved ones, what would you like me to write about? Sure enough, guidance arrived. 

Today in my mat class, a client was mentioning the tv show, The Chosen. (By the way, if you haven't seen this show, I highly suggest a watch!) She explained about how she was listening to Dallas Jenkins talk about filming for the third season. It was actually referred to by "Red Sea" moments. Basically they were trying to film scenes and either the weather or timing of a scene with natural light was seemingly not working. Then, they would have that moment! You know, when everything pulls together! Magically or miraculously. God's timing. Divine timing. You just keep showing up and trusting and it all works out. But that's the thing, it doesn't always feel like that when you're in midst. That's why you have to keep going. Keep showing up. The best way you are able. 

When you have been taught not to trust, and further have traumas that make it even harder to trust, the idea of control is hard to dissolve and let go. It often takes many lessons, and many different versions of lessons to learn where all the traumas are that need to be healed. One thing that I look back on that helped me immensely was A Course in Miracles, The Workbook. It helped me break down everything I was looking at and what I was seeing. I don't usually think to mention this tool when discussing control. I don't generally discuss control. It doesn't even hit my radar. But it used to! It used to be all I thought about. I'd even joke about how I'm a Capricorn and control is an issue for us. But on my spiritual journey, and all I've had to surrender, I guess that's been an aspect that has been greatly healed. Again, I'm still learning lessons, so it takes me there every so often. But it's more about me stopping, listening and following my guidance. I've found that the deeper I go into the lesson, the better my overall attitude about the given situation is handled with more grace and peace. Every time. 

Let's take the current situation. My finances. They've been a problem before, and, I have made great strides in overcoming all these years in my journey. Just like any other issue or problem, it's temporary. I'm always taken care of; I'm always guided and even the last-minute miracle is becoming less stressful. I'm falling into the groove. I trust. As they say, "So far you've lived through 100% of your days". Right? I'm still here. And who knows, I learn this lesson and next time maybe the lesson is with romantic relationships. (*Insert hysterical face*, there's another lesson that always feels like a lesson *insert not amused face*). 

It's learning the "control" part is me, how I move and feel. There's nothing else. Everything else is an illusion. I believe it's part of why we are so taken out of "ourselves". There's more control connecting within, and further, with God/The Universe/Source than there is in "this" illusion. It's just an illusion. Control is an illusion. And when we internalize that feeling, we are unable to be controlled. 

So, do you have an issue with control? How do you handle this in your daily life? Would you like to share what works for you, or what doesn't work? Does anyone identify with how I've been feeling on my journey? Do you have stories you'd like to share or get clarity on? I'm here for you. Reach out.

Love, Light and Blessings,

Julia xo