In my "Intro to Healing" class, I tell my story. As it may sound unfortunate to many, it's a great teaching tool on how we can personally heal with only the help of our own faculties and God's Infinite Love. My journey hasn't been easy. That being said, I am utterly grateful and proud that I am able to share with you for your best and highest good, and the best and highest good of all concerned these words.

My name is Julia Hartstein and "I carry the water." There's a saying about those who carry the water, they've been to Hell and back. I, (We), carry the water for others so that they may not burn.

I was born and raised in Queens, NY. The Melting Pot of the World! It's the most diverse city with over 161 ethnic backgrounds in its dwelling. I am an only child. My mother was a recovering alcoholic. Before her recovery, I grew up in an atmosphere of my parents getting into fist fights. I would lock myself in the bathroom because it was the only room in the house with a working lock. Often these fights ended with my mother taking me and fleeing, driving around all night trying to find a safe space, often times returning to an empty home. This happened during my early years. I'm probably remembering from about 5-7 years old. 

Grade school was a nightmare. I was thee "one" that everyone picked on, even the "nerds". I remember thinking that if I was dead, everyone would be happy. I had about 56 absences in the 7th grade. I would beg my mother to let me stay home. I remember walking home one day on Bell Blvd. and a group of boys from class were pulling my skirt up and grabbing me and flicking my hair. I screamed. People looked but did nothing. The boys just laughed and ran off. One time in midst of changing classes. I was pushed into a wall with my already broken arm and then asked, "Are you ok?" whist this person was laughing. My mom knew, the teachers knew, rarely anything was ever done.

My grandparents used to baby sit me before I was old enough to go to school. They were more like my "parents". Listening to me, watching over me, playing with me when I was at their home. My grandfather had a stroke when I was probably about five or six years old. It was his left brain that suffered the stroke, and he was paralyzed on his right side and bed ridden for six years. My mother used to go on weekends to help my grandmother bathe him and change the sheets. My grandparents died four months apart when I was in the 7th grade. 

1987 was a stressful year, looking back. It was also the year my mother stopped drinking. She had picked me up from a babysitting appointment. She was crying and asking if she was yellow. I didn't understand at the time, but my mother had given herself Hepatitis. It was only a few months later both her parents died.

Since we're discussing my childhood, let's talk about my childhood friends and neighbors, two brothers. Two days before my 15th birthday I was raped for the first time by one. That's the one who I thought I loved. I say first time, because it happened multiple times by one or both. It was only a few months after the "first time" I tried to take my own life.

Let's fast forward about fifteen years when my father crossed over and I had to start taking care of my mother with dementia. Not only did I take care of her virtually by myself, I also took on her debt, over $330,000. I did this as I worked one or two days during the week and starting my business. 

My story is someone else's survival guide. My life lessons can help others. Maybe you have been through similar circumstances. Maybe you've been though worse! And maybe you don't have any of these traumas and still understand what it's like to have deep hurt in your mind, body, soul.  I share to help others.

I end the class saying "Blessings". I learned to do this from a class I took with Maryanne Williamson. It derives from a French word blessure, meaning 'wound". I wish you no wounds. When you know what it's like to truly hurt, you don't want others to feel the same.

Blessings My Friends on this journey in 3D. May we understand that this is all an illusion, and we are infinitely loved!

Julia, xo